My 27th birthday is tomorrow. I just keep thinking about where I thought I would be at 27. I guess since I always said I'd start trying for a baby in Fall '08, I thought by March '10 I'd have a 10 month old. I guess sometimes things just don't go according to plan. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me a little patience... I mean, there has to be some reason, right??
I finished my last BCP on Thursday. It was sort of a surreal experience. I just kept thinking to myself, what if this is the last BCP I ever take?? (Because clearly after this, they aren't a necessity in the Bland household!) I also keep thinking about all the money I've wasted on BCPs over my lifetime.... I feel a little sick to my stomach thinking about it.
In other news, Dr. B continues to give my Lupron injections in the morning. They don't hurt but my belly continues to swell... it just seems a little unfair. I mean, it should be swelling because a baby is growing in it... oh well. I go in on Friday the 5th for my first or "beta" blood work and ultrasound. This is where they check to see how my body is responding to the medications, thus far. If things look good, I'll start my "stims" on Saturday the 6th. The stims or Gonal-F (aka the drug that almost cost me $2,000!!!) are used to help my body create multiple eggs. So, if all goes well on the 5th, I'll start the stims on the 6th, both am and pm. For those keeping track, this means three shots a day. oye. Honestly tho I'm really looking forward to starting the stims portion of this process, because it means we are nearing the finish line.
Once I start the Gonal-F, I'll go on March 11th for another round of blood work and another ultrasound to check my body's progress. If things look good here, they'll go ahead and schedule my E/R (yay). If things aren't progressing as they should, I'll continue on the Gonal-F and will go in every day or every few days for more labs and more ultrasounds, until my body looks the way it should (boooo).
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my body cooperates (for once)!
Parting thought:
You know how it feels when you are stuck in traffic and want more than anything to just get to your destination? Well, that's sort of how infertility feels. You expect getting pregnant to be an easy and quick task and when it isn't, you get irritated, antsy and angry!
You know how it feels when you are heading out for a long road trip and you get in the mindset of, this is going to take a while, so I should just get comfortable? Well, that's sort of what IVF is starting to feel like for me. For the past 19 months I've been stuck in a terrible traffic jam, haven't been able to get to my destination, and have no idea why! Now that I'm going through IVF, I am sitting back and getting comfortable, because I know that deep down inside, I'll be to that vacation home soon.
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