I went in for labs yesterday morning and at 2:30 PM yesterday found out the IVF wasn't successful. We are done. It's all over. I have never felt so defeated in all my life. I have no clue why it didn't work, and don't know if I'll ever know why. I feel angry. I feel slighted. I feel resentful. I feel numb.
Chris and I are going to go on an IF break for a few months. We need some time to clear our minds and I need to let my body heal. I just went through two solid months of medicines, injections, labs, ultrasounds, procedures, bed rest, cramps, bloating, weight gain.... and all for what? So that I can now sit on my couch and wallow. How is that fair?
How am I going to bounce back? I'm tired of being positive, I'm tired of being upbeat, overall I'm just tired.
We both appreciate all of the prayers and well wishes over the course of this process. Like I said, we are going to take a few months to ourselves and try to get our life back on track. Hopefully soon I'll be able to fill my time and thoughts with something other than infertility.
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