On April 1, 2010, it was my mom's 52nd birthday, and the day of IVF#1's negative beta result. After a year and a half of trying including, 7 months of Clomid, 2 IUIs and a three month long IVF cycle, we still weren't pregnant. I felt like the earth was crashing down around me. It was the lowest of the low, the bottom of the bottom. It was hell.
But, would I do it all over again if it meant I got to be a day away from my second trimester in a pregnancy with twins.... HELL YES- a million times over. Every hurdle that was placed in front of us, every ditch we had to climb out of, led us here.
In between IVFs 1 & 2, someone asked me, "How many times could you put yourself through this if you had to?" My response: As many times as it takes. And I meant that. If money was no object, and a doctor told me I still had a chance, I'd do it. And I'd continue to until it got me here. There was no thought of quitting in my mind- there was no room for it. Now don't get me wrong, on occasion I let the "what if I never get pregnant" thought enter my mind. But I quickly chased it out, because I knew in the very depths of me, that I would someday experience pregnancy and I would someday be a mom. Call it future mother's intuition, but I just knew.
I guess the moral of this tangent is that the hell and the suffering we had to go through to get here was 1 million percent worth it... and it only gets better from here.
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